my diary of the Apocalypse
by Lyulph
Summary: The diary of a person that was involved in the zombie apocalypse. Set in the zombie universe but in Australia
1. Chapter 1

**Tuesday August 18**

Why am I writing this? That's right my shrink says I should.

"Record your dreams in every detail while they are fresh in your mind"

That's the problem shrink. I am trying to forget my dreams. I don't have dreams they are just nightmares. It is the nightmares that are the reason I try to avoid sleeping.

Well I passed out after 3 days awake. As usual I came to covered in sweat.

Terrified.

Panicked.

Barely remember shit. Except for the hands. Lots of dirty hands reaching for me.

Hours after waking up I am still shaking in fear.

I would kill my self but I have even a bigger fear of that or actually after I kill myself. The idea of killing my self does not scare me. It is just I know that something is or will happen after and that scares me and fills me with dread.

If I thought I could get peace by dying then I would not hesistate to do it. But I know that something like I know wher my fingers end, something about dying but what I don't know.

Enough


	2. Chapter 2

**Thursday August 20**

It's 3:30am and I have just got back from one of my walks after being pulled over by the cops. They thought I was suspect for walking around so late at night. I told the them it was to avoid sleeping. I don't think they believed me but I gave them my shrinks card to contact her.

10am my shrink calls. she wanted to know what I told the cops. I told her. She wanted to know if I had any sleep lat night I told her no I was not tired and I thought the walk might tire me out.

I clean the kitchen and wash every dish, cup, knife, for, and spoon by hand drying each singulary before return it back to the draw or shelf. I think some my think I am crazy and am dirt phobic but it keeps me busy so I don't sleep and importnatly dont dream.

**Sunday Augunst 23**

I woke from my dreams with a start. I had gripped the sheets so hard I had torn them. I kept on looking around for something. I can remember what now that I am awake.

Why do I dream? I don't want to dream but each time I go to sleep I dream so I avoid going to sleep.

I feel better after the 4th cup of strong coffee. The shakes and fear has vanished.

I get the local weekend paper and the front page is about some missing people. I don't know why but my hair stands up on end reading it. They are backpackers so they might not have vanished around here just that they were last seen here.

At least the shrink promised to have a answer about my problem. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Monday August 24**

Cops pulled me over again on my 3am walk. Same cops as before so it went quicker. I think it was a slow night so it was a break to stop and talk to me. They did not need my shrink's card as they still had mine at the station from the last time. They wanted to know how far I had been walking tonight.

I didn't know how far it was just that it took some time. My walk took me to the edge of town before turning around and walking back. They asked me if I did it every night. I didn't. Sometimes I might go every night others I might skip and do stuff at home sometimes I might sleep. I didn't always walk sometimes I jogged or ran the distance.

They looked at each other and laughed and told me that I had been walking 16 kilometres every time I did the trip.

I will have to use my backpack and put some weights in it to load me up and to be more effort.

Got back from the shrink. She says that I have a bad case of Oneirophobia. In other words I am scared of my own dreams. I can't have any coffee, energy drinks, or anything with caffeine she think that might be making the dreams worse.

I am also to take these sleeping pills. Hopefully this works.

**Tuesday August 25 **

Woke up to a rancid smell of rotting meat. Bolted and spent the next 30 minutes or so heaving my guts up.

I don't remember eating corn.

4 fucking am and I have been huging the shitter.

Wonderful start to the day. Waited until 9 before ringing the shrink. She think it might be from going cold turkey off the but I shouold be fine tonight.

I'm thinking screw that while I am having my third double strength coffee. I need it to get my shakes off.

The best she is getting is I am not having any more coffee after midday.

I say that the shakes are from caffeine withdrawal but I know better.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wednesday August 26 2015**

This time I did not get to the toilet before spewing my guts up.

I had to shower not to get the puke off me but the get ring of the feeling of the cold hands grabbing me.

I had to clean up with puking further and the mess was impressive. I have vomited on the bed, the bedroom floor, the door, most of the hallway (don't want to know how I got the ceiling), the bathroom floor, bath and the show cubical.

It took me several hours but I had finally cleaned it up. It was still only 5am or around that so I decided to run my normal course but I added a few extra water bottles to my backpack to give it extra weight 10 litres was enough if I was going to run.

I ran until collapsed. I was lucky in that I was not looking when I crossed any of the roads. Or I coud have been wanting to get hit by a car

I got back and had a long cold shower.

Had a few more coffees then rang the shrink. She was busy.

**Sunday August 30 2015**

I thought I would not have that again. No drugs. No sleeping pills, no coffee for 2 days.

No luck.

At least this time no vomiting was involved.

I could remember a little bit more about my dream. I was standing up on a car and was swinging a stick? Bat? Whatever.

The wind was moaning but I could feel nothing on my face. Everything was fuzzy, out of focus.

Execpt for the hands. All of these hands I could see too clearly. All were dirty, many had cuts on them, some grabbed with broken fingers, and a few I think even looked liked theere were missing fingers.

Am I developing a hand fettish. I will have to speak with the shrink about that.


End file.
